I’ve fallen into my old habit of living in the future.
When Raul and I get an apartment, I’ll eat better and exercise more. When I’m done classes, I’ll write more. When I get a job, I’ll feel more stable.
I’ve also been living in fear, which is bad.
What if things with Raul don’t work? What if I can’t find a job? What if we can’t find an apartment?
I don’t, however, have any negative thoughts about my novel. I know my book will get published because it’s a damn good read.
So why am I worried about everything else? I don’t question Raul’s love, but I worry he’s going to leave. I don’t question my ability to work, so why do I worry about finding a job? And Raul and I have several options for living until we get an apartment, so why does that stress me out?
Because I’m living in the future. I’ve created a dream of a perfect future. But life isn’t perfect, so I live in fear of imperfection and make myself sick with preoccupation.
Time to change. Time to remember that life is to be lived now.
I was thinking of writing a set of resolutions, but that’s still living in the future. Instead, I’ll return to living in the now where everything is possible and actions happen today, not tomorrow.
Someday Lessons:
- What are you putting off doing for when life changes?
- Old habits sneak back into your life without you noticing.
Someday Sydrome 
Alex! Take my advice from yesterday’s post. Don’t block things and enjoy the present. Everything has a way of working things out. The more unexpected the better.
PS I owe you a very long e-mail
It is natural to have those concerns about the future – it is practically unpreventable! What might be helpful is for you to complete the thought by envisioning the worst that would happen if your fears were realized. If Raul and you don’t work out? You’ve experienced relationship break downs before and survived. If you don’t have money coming in before the money runs out? You’ve got any number of people, around the world, who would not hesitate to give you money for food, shelter and/or airfare! What if you can’t find an apartment? You’re no stranger to living in weird, rough, temporary places…so what if you have to go do that again until that perfect apartment does show up!
You’re a trouper, Alex! You can tough out any catastrophe – and if you grow tired of toughing it out, you’ve got shoulders, around the world, that are ready to be leaned on:) BREATHE!
ciaoluvme
Cate: Your advice from last year was exactly what I needed. (And thanks for the email)
Nada: Your comments remind me of my post from last Wednesday. Where are the boundaries between Law of Attraction and Getting Hopes Up/Picturing the Worst? Having an active imagination has both its postive and negative sides because when I do picture the worst, it´s BAAAAAAD… hehehe