Alex the Househubby

My sister (who has started her own highly entertaining blog) recently told me that she only does things because she 100% wants to. She doesn’t do anything because she should or because she believes others expect her to. And although she’s not totally thrilled with her job, it serves her long term goals, so she puts up with it.

I, on the other hand, spent a lot of time with resentment creating acid that bubbles out of my stomach into my throat because of the unfairness of life – specifically around housework. I work mostly from home, for much fewer hours than Raul, doing a much less physically demanding job. I therefore end up doing almost all the dishes, most of the laundry, and keep the bed made and the house tidy on a daily basis.

Taking my sister’s advice, I looked at what I do around the house and realized that I actually enjoy it – including the dishes! Take last Sunday for example. We’d had friends over for dinner Saturday night which meant on Sunday we had a mound of dishes to do. Before going to bed on Saturday I swore to myself that I was not going to touch a single plate – I’d done enough dishes for the week. Raul could do them for once. Sunday morning came and after I’d watched the latest Doctor Who episode, I got up and started washing the dishes, because it made me happy to do so.

As I was washing them, I realized that I also enjoy laundry, making the bed and keeping the apartment tidy. I can let go of my ego-driven "It’s not fair!" attitude and fulfill yet another of my childhood dreams – being a househubby, taking care of my man.

Someday Lessons:

  • Only do things that you choose to do – delegate or outsource the rest.
  • When you choose to do something, do it fully with love and your complete attention.
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4 thoughts on “Alex the Househubby

  1. Wendi says:

    I loved the time I was able to tend to home-matters. When I bought my first house, I took great joy in oiling all the woods once a month, scrubbing floors, keeping the tubs and showers bright white… and I adored my time in the kitchen baking sweets and treats and preparing meals. I’ve learned, though, that I’m only like that with a house I feel comfortable in. I lost my first house in a divorce. I’ve never quite been that way in the house I live in now. And now? *nods*… single mom who goes to work every day and resents the hell out of my job. *LOL*

    I’m looking so forward to moving because I think that’s when I’ll find balance… to work daily to take care of the necessities of life, and to nurture my home as yet another way to enjoy life.

    🙂

    W

  2. At one point in my life (okay, several points) I went through resenting being a stay-at-home-Mom. I felt like I wasn’t making any difference in “the world”, I was stuck cleaning toilets and washing dishes, doing laundry etc etc etc for eternity. Then one of the ladies at St. John’s Oromocto ACW, gave me a copy of “Beatitudes of the Housewives.”
    I still have “down days” but then I read the Beatitudes and I’m fine again.
    If you need to read them too, they’re on my blog.

  3. I think we spend a lot of energy whining about the things we “have to” do, without even realizing that we don’t really mind doing them, and in some cases actually enjoy it!

  4. First, thanks for the plug! Mighty appreciated. Second, ha!! My baby brother took my advice and it worked for him. That makes me the Best Sister Ever. And trust me, Raul will be much happier for you doing what works best for you. Nobody wants to be exposed to seething resentment. And then you will be happier and ‘HELLO’ positive relationship cycle!!! Ah my wisdom dazzles me sometimes. Everyone check out my highly entertaining blog; wisdom abounds there. *big huge self promoting grin*

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