My sister (who has started her own highly entertaining blog) recently told me that she only does things because she 100% wants to. She doesn’t do anything because she should or because she believes others expect her to. And although she’s not totally thrilled with her job, it serves her long term goals, so she puts up with it.
I, on the other hand, spent a lot of time with resentment creating acid that bubbles out of my stomach into my throat because of the unfairness of life – specifically around housework. I work mostly from home, for much fewer hours than Raul, doing a much less physically demanding job. I therefore end up doing almost all the dishes, most of the laundry, and keep the bed made and the house tidy on a daily basis.
Taking my sister’s advice, I looked at what I do around the house and realized that I actually enjoy it – including the dishes! Take last Sunday for example. We’d had friends over for dinner Saturday night which meant on Sunday we had a mound of dishes to do. Before going to bed on Saturday I swore to myself that I was not going to touch a single plate – I’d done enough dishes for the week. Raul could do them for once. Sunday morning came and after I’d watched the latest Doctor Who episode, I got up and started washing the dishes, because it made me happy to do so.
As I was washing them, I realized that I also enjoy laundry, making the bed and keeping the apartment tidy. I can let go of my ego-driven "It’s not fair!" attitude and fulfill yet another of my childhood dreams – being a househubby, taking care of my man.
- Only do things that you choose to do – delegate or outsource the rest.
- When you choose to do something, do it fully with love and your complete attention.