Who: Alex Fayle of Someday Syndrome
Alex is a writer on his way to becoming an author who followed a dream to France and followed love to Spain. He’s committed to helping people get rid of the word someday from their lives.
What variety of Someday Syndrome affected you the most?
Definitely I’ll Get Around To It Someday. I spent most of my life wanting to be a writer, but it was never the right time. During high school, I decided I was too young to write seriously. Out of fear of failure I decided not to apply to a creative writing program in university and during university my ego didn’t allow me to hear criticism without going to sulk in a corner and dragging me along with it. Despite pursuing writing on and off for several years after university, even getting some short stories published (including in a professional publication), in 2000 I decided I just couldn’t commit to it and stopped writing altogether.
I told myself that I could become a writer later, that I was barely thirty – there would be plenty of time for writing after I’d created a comfortable life.
How did it affect your life?
I procrastinated about everything. I also could never settle on a dream to pursue. Nothing ever seemed to matter.
How would you describe your happiness level?
One word: depressed.
I hated my life but tried to get by through lying to myself on a daily basis.
Did the other varieties of Someday Syndrome appear in your life as well?
Definitely. Through all procrastination, I was waiting for something to change outside of me. I hoped that I’d find inspiration through a lover, through owning and renovating a home, or through my job. I even (briefly) considered adopting a child, but realized that had nothing to do with parenting and everything to do with external inspiration. I never once looked inside of me for inspiration to change my life.
And my house! I had one unused room packed full of things I didn’t want to make decisions about, especially paper and “interesting research ideas in case I ever went back to writing.” In the kitchen, when I needed a clean plate, I’d pull a dirty one out of the pile, wash it, use it and put it bck in the mound of dirty dishes.
In other words, I was a disaster, an unhappy, frustrated disaster.
- When you suppress your dreams, the rest of your life suffers.
- It’s easier to look back and see what needed to change than to be aware of it in the moment.