(I should know as I’m often insecure.)
I came to this conclusion after reading three different posts. In my non-linear brain, the themes of the three posts came together, had a party, and left me with (besides many empty bottles of wine) the idea for today’s post.
The culprit posts are:
- Sandcastle Promises on Life’s Little Inspirations
- He’s a Scamp on the Urban Panther’s Lair
- Balls-On Marketing: Why You Need To Strut Your Stuff on IttyBiz (guest post by Dave Navarro)
Wendi on Life’s Little Inspirations suggested that unfulfilled dreams come from a lack of self-esteem. The Urban Panther, being a confident feline, has no problem watching the Urbane Lion flirt, and Dave declared that to provide customers with the best service possible, small business owners need to be arrogant.
Can you see the connection? Can you see why insecure people are self-absorbed and egotistical? No? Well then, let’s look at each post, one at a time.
When we let insecurity punch holes in our dreams, we live inside our head. We refused to act, depriving ourselves and those around us the benefits derived from living our dreams and living with confidence.
That one was obvious, right? Let’s move on then.
If the Urban Panther were not so confident, she’d mistrust the Urbane Lion. No matter how much he might declare and demonstrate his love for her, he’d have to change who he is (i.e., stop flirting) to please her. And we all know how well trying to change for someone else works out.
Easy-peasy, no? Now for the last one.
But wait, isn’t arrogance egotistical by definition? Not the way Dave defines it. To him, having sufficient arrogance means believing in what you do best and being able to communicate that skill to the world. If you’re not confident about your skills, you’ll turn inward, worry about how you’ll mess up, and your customers will end up unhappy and further business will choose someone who doesn’t believe they’ll screw up.
Taken together, the posts point to an inward/outward dichotomy. Insecure people turn inward, becoming self-obsessed – “It’s all about me.” Confident people look outward – “It’s all about you.” – with generosity and respect for others flowing from their fingertips.
- Build confidence by getting out of your head and doing things instead of just thinking about them.
- Insecurity-based mistrust insults the trustworthiness of those around you.