- Someday Lesson: Sometimes we stay stuck for a reason because we’re actually getting something out of it. What are you getting out of not moving forward?
I’m not sure how I discovered Amy. I’m just glad I did. She’s always a delight to read and does a great job of bringing the fun in especially when the blogosphere threatens to take itself too seriously (as you can see by her answers to the interview).
Who: Amy Derby of Law Firm Blogger and Write from Home
Amy left the corporate paralegal life in 2004 to pursue the write-from-home blogging-for-lawyers life, which isn’t a whole lot different except that stealing office supplies from your boss when you’re self-employed is way less fun.
What variety of Someday Syndrome affected you the most? In what way?
That’s hard to say. I’m the queen of both procrastination and clutter. I’m one of those people who makes rubber band balls at 3am because a) I might need them someday, and b) making rubber band balls is a lot more fun than doing legal research. Both, together, kept me stuck.
How did it affect the rest of your life?
I let my fear paralyze me to the point where I didn’t have much of a life. I would sit in my office at midnight knowing there had to be more for me out there, but at the same time I hung onto all those old voices in my head that said this was all I could be. Every time I thought about changing my life I would tell myself, “Maybe someday you’ll do more, but for now this is pretty good. You make a lot of money. You should be happy.”
How would you describe your happiness level at that time?
I wasn’t happy. I thought I was content most of the time, but the truth is I was just keeping myself too busy to feel anything at all.
What changed? Was it gradual or did it come as an epiphany? Perhaps a mix the two?
At the end of 2003 my father died. For the first time in six years, I had to force myself to take time off from work because I couldn’t function. There just weren’t enough rubber bands to make a ball big enough for the one that was unraveling within me. Within a few months, I quit my job and moved across the country in pursuit of something – I didn’t know what, but I knew I had to find it. Life was suddenly too short.
What dream are you in the process of realizing?
I’m growing up, I guess. I’m expanding my business, collaborating on a few pretty big projects, getting rid of things I don’t need. I’m taking risks, fitting my career to me rather than trying to fit myself into a career… if that makes sense. It’s one of those “I’m becoming who I want to be” dreams.
How would you describe your happiness level now?
When I’m not busy being terrified that I’ll wake up and find out this isn’t really my life? I’m pretty happy.
What advice would you give someone in the position you were in before?
That’s a hard one. I believe we can all be in the exact same place yet experience it differently. I suppose I would say don’t let yourself get stuck there, unless that’s really what you want. Some people get something out of being stuck – I was one of them for a long time – but if you’re to the point where being stuck sucks more than the pain of moving forward, then I say go for it.