- Someday Lesson: Even when we’re excited about the future, we often need to grieve for what we’re giving up in the moment.
Then as I was going through old papers and came across my first house insurance application—and I burst into tears. Wracking, sobbing tears.
So why would an insurance application send me into hysterics? Because I had a belief that being an adult meant owning a home, being married and having kids. The home was the only one of the three things I possessed and here I was giving it up. That meant giving up being adult.
The tears signaled giving up one set of beliefs and creating new ones. Once I recognized this, the tears dried up and I got excited about the move once more.
I asked Carrie what fears about leaving Atlanta beyond she had and here’s what she told me:
Now that the Morocco move is a reality, the sadness has started. The part of the process where I desperately romanticize every part of my life here in Atlanta and stop remembering why in the hell I would ever choose to move so far away from my friends and my family. After the past 7 years of my friends and family listening to me moan about not wanting to live here, let’s just say that I have experienced many the eye roll over this.
I will be leaving behind a very developed social support network of friends and family that have stood by me, applauded me, calmed me, and loved me into the adult I am now.
I will also be leaving behind what I like to call “the native advantage”. When I lived in France I always envied the natives, the ones that grew up there and lunched with their parents on Sundays, knew every alley way by heart and not only knew the latest slang but seemed to invent it, the natives. I am one of those here. I believe it is a privilege to love where you are from. And I have become very successful here. I will be leaving my city and therefore a very special part of my heart will suffer when it is away.
By consciously thinking about what she’s leaving behind, Carrie can soothe fears as they come up, instead of acting impulsively, and maybe sabotaging her dreams.
Your turn—if you’ve ever made a major shift in your life, what beliefs created fear and tempted you to stop the change before it happened?