I love Twitter for the support aspect of social media. When I started my running program, Lisa Baldwin (ZenAtPlay on Twitter) encouraged me and even told me that she missed my updates when I forgot to post (or didn’t run). For someone like me who thrives on external validation, When I get that kind of support, I work extra-hard to reach my goal and get rid of yet another Someday. Turning the tables on Lisa, I wanted to find out how I (and all of you) could support here. Here’s what she said:
Who: Lisa Baldwin of Divine Order
When she’s not on Twitter doing magic tricks and making animal noises, Lisa helps overwhelmed people declutter their space, time and mind so they can make room for their awesomeness.
Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals. Were you feeling stuck? Had you felt you failed? What wasn’t working in your life?
As much as I’d love to have to go way back into my past to dig up a pity party, the truth is that I go through moments of despair quite regularly. I’m a sensitive flower. The big thing for me has been realising that it’s all part of my process, and then learning to have compassion for myself when I’m feeling that way. When I allow myself to stomp and sulk instead of telling myself I should be feeling something different, the icky phases are shorter and far less painful.
Even our lowest moments fulfill a need in us or express our desires. When you threw yourself that pity party, what did you hope to gain? What need did you fulfill?
My pity parties are almost always a sign that it’s time to listen. They often happen when I’ve been pushing too hard and not taking care of myself. The need I’m fulfilling is usually to pause, regroup and focus (or sometimes just to throw things).
Tell us what you did to break up the pity party. What actions did you decide to take? Did someone help you buoy your spirits? Push you along?
Rest always helps. Also letting go, trimming back and simplifying. Once I’ve finished feeling completely crappy, I jot down a list of the things that are weighing heavily on my mind and then note down the thing I can do to clean each crazy-maker up. That brings clarity and comfort, and the actions I need to take are almost always teeny tiny things. Actually taking those actions? Even better.
Can you look back on that moment and tell us how you felt when you did decide to take action? What results came about from your decision to take charge and move on?
Just noting down what I need to do makes me breathe easier – it’s almost magical. The result is usually putting something down so I can make space for something better, and that is a wonderful thing. We each have our own capacity and respecting that, and actually taking action as a result, is powerful.
Everyone has a Someday problem hiding deep inside, even little ones. What variety of the Someday Syndrome do you currently harbor? What would you like to achieve but haven’t yet?
Mine is Someday I’ll Get Around To It. I’m an intrepid traveller cleverly disguised as a homebody and it really is about time I did something about that. My greatest aspiration is to be able to fit all my worldly possessions in a carry on bag and to spend my days in places where I don’t understand the food, let alone the language. Despite all this, I haven’t dusted off my passport in years.
Examining your Someday Syndrome problem, what are you currently doing to resolve it and eliminate it from your life?
My Big Dream isn’t entirely do-able just yet (unsurprisingly, my children don’t share my passion for India or one-bag travel), but I’m working on building shorter bursts of adventure into my life. I have a trip planned for late this year and I take tiny steps most days to make it happen. Sometimes that’s extending my vocabulary one step beyond “namaste” or spending some time researching the areas I’ll be visiting – all small things that add up to a big adventure.
Many people suffer the same problems you do. You’re not alone, and neither are they. What would you tell people in your situation right now to help them avoid what you’re going through?
Oh, honey. You’re doing better than you know. You don’t have to be a superhero and you don’t have to change everything at once – just one small step followed by another small step is enough.
If you could ask for one thing, right now, to help you overcome your Someday Syndrome, what type of help would you ask for?
Gentle accountability and reminders that small steps really do add up. It’s so easy to get distracted or overwhelmed and lose our way. Gentle nudges can make all the difference.