Today’s post comes from Joely Black of In These Heels. Enjoy!
Both types then break down into chronic suckiness and acute suckiness. One lasting a while and the other being short-term. Throughout life we get spells of all possible flavours of suckiness, but thankfully, I’ve found only one real solution is necessary for handling all of them.
Having had depression in the past, I’m pretty well experienced with internal suckiness of the chronic variety. I’ve tried all kinds of different approaches to handling both the suckiness that hits from the outside and the stuff that comes from within.
The most important place to start – whether it sucks on the outside or inside – is to start dealing with the emotions around it. I learned the long, slow, hard way that fighting what’s happening – on the outside or inside – only makes the suckiness suckier.
This was what first brought me into meditation. And before you ask, no I’m not actually Buddhist. When I first started the emotional healing and progressing toward being a published author, I began exploring meditation by training at our local Buddhist centre.
It sounds crazy, but the best way out of a sucky situation is to accept that it sucks, that it’s there in the first place. I bought myself a journal, and began writing down how I felt. Every time I had to struggle with fear or doubt, or I started feeling depressed, I wrote down what I was feeling.
This was the path out of the suckiness of depression, away from all the limiting ideas and beliefs that had held me back for years. I wrote them down. Once I recognised what I was thinking and feeling – whether it came from within me, or whether something had actually happened to me – I was able to let it go.
There’s no way to avoid suckiness in life. People die, people get old, people get rich or poor. Stuff will come along and it will suck. But whether a situation gets really sucky or not usually depends on your attitude, and attitude starts with your response to what’s happening.
About a year and a half ago now, I experienced the ultimate in suckiness. I had a huge deal on the table with a massive publishing company. It was incredible. My dream come true. And then some petty office politics got in the way. It fell through.
That doesn’t just suck. It blows.
The next day though, I was incredibly happy. I sat there, in a state of utter giddiness. I wasn’t upset that the whole thing crashed. I was excited because I’d come so close. It was the first time I’d been given that evidence that I wasn’t living with my head in the clouds, that what I’d written, what I’d worked on, had value to the world.
Suckiness is therefore a matter of perspective. I still get bouts of depression like other people get mild head colds. When it comes up, or when something sucky happens, it’s always time for me to get back to meditation, to chilling out, and letting the situation be rather than fighting it. And if I can, I look for the good in it. There’s nothing like a shift in perspective to cure suckiness.