Someday Syndrome isn’t always about the big stuff. In many Someday Interviews, people have turned their lives around because of some big disruption in their life. Small events, however, can have the same effect. Let’s see what small event led Glen Allsopp to change his life and start pursuing a positive outlook on his life.
Who: Glen Allsopp from PluginID
Glen is a formely quiet guy who thought the world owed him a favour and who has since massively transformed all areas of his life. He now wants to help other people realise they can do the same.
Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals. Were you feeling stuck? Had you felt you failed? What wasn’t working in your life.
I’m not really a fan of the phrase ‘pity party’ but I’m sure I’ve threw one for myself a few times ;). It’s quite sad really but there was once a girl that I really liked and when I eventually ‘got her’ I actually realised I wanted nothing to do with her and I let her know. Then, one day, I saw her with another guy and for some reason I was instantly crushed. I felt like I had really failed on this aspect of my life and couldn’t believe she had moved on.
I don’t feel like this at all with women now, but I think a lot of guys and girls can relate to that situation.
Even our lowest moments fulfill a need in us or express our desires. When you threw yourself that pity party, what did you hope to gain? What need did you fulfill?
When that situation happened (in a nightclub) I left straight away and just drove my car with no destination in mind for a few hours at a ridiculous time of the morning, cursing the world. I guess I wanted to get all the anger out so that I could move on from the situation.
Note: I really don’t recommend that people do this; driving a vehicle while in an emotionally charged state is never a good idea.
Tell us what you did to break up the pity party. What actions did you decide to take? Did someone help you buoy your spirits? Push you along?
I never actually spoke to anyone about it and I surprisingly got over it quite easily after that day. I just went out, met new people, talked to a lot of girls and had some fun.
Can you look back on that moment and tell us how you felt when you did decide to take action? What results came about from your decision to take charge and move on?
I guess I realised that the negativity serves no purpose. Here was a girl I honestly did not care about anymore, with another random stranger, and that was bothering me. It actually didn’t make any rational sense and as soon as I came to that realisation something ‘clicked’ inside and it no longer bothered me.
I think it’s good a good idea to to put our ‘problems’ under the rationality test. Ask yourself is there any rational reason for your beliefs or the way that you feel. You’ll often find the answer is no and that in itself is enough to help you move on from the situation.
I constantly remind myself a simple fact, and while some may view it as negative, I think it is very important: I will die one day. As soon as you remember to realise this, all the little problems you think you have in your life suddenly become a lot less important.
Everyone has a Someday problem hiding deep inside, even little ones. What variety of the Someday Syndrome do you currently harbor? What would you like to achieve but haven’t yet?
I actually think I’m quite good at taking action and getting things done these days, but I also think I harbour some Someday Syndrome traits. My full-time job is working from home and making a living online, and as anyone who spends a lot of time on the internet will tell you, there are a lot of distractions.
I’ll go over to a forum to answer some questions about a product I have launched or something similar and then find myself 20 minutes later reading something completely unrelated to what I wanted to do in the first place. I would like to be able to stay completely focused on the task at hand, even with a working environment as distracting as the internet.
Examining your Someday Syndrome problem, what are you currently doing to resolve it and eliminate it from your life?
You have actually asked that at a good time. I’m currently on day 2 of a 7 day challenge which involves cutting out all things and websites that distract me such as Facebook, Meebo (online MSN and Google Talk) and other sites that don’t really serve much of a purpose. I’m quite embarassed at the fact that I’m actually finding it very difficult but there is no other option for me than to complete it.
I also run around 10 websites and do far too more stats checking than is necessary so I’m cutting that down to once a day at the most.
Many people suffer the same problems you do. You’re not alone, and neither are they. What would you tell people in your situation right now to help them avoid what you’re going through?
Perform an honest self-assessment of your current situation and decide what you want. I’m honest in that I know I waste time on certain websites or chatting to my friends, and right now it doesn’t help me in anyway so I need to cut it out.
Even if you perform an honest self-assessment though, it’s not always enough to change your habits. I am only in the UK so that I can work hard on my projects and begin to travel the world with the money that I’ve saved. To me this is far more important than checking my email ten times per day or accepting Facebook friend requests.
Decide what is really important to you because if you don’t it will be easy to slip back into less-productive habits.
If you could ask for one thing, right now, to help you overcome your Someday Syndrome, what type of help would you ask for? You might be tempted to provide a cheeky answer, but stop and think a moment about what would really help you.
To be honest I think this is something each individual has to deal with on their own. Someone can give you advice and push you to change, but their efforts will only go so far. You have to want to change and you have to take action to get your desired results.
P.S. Glen also features me today over at PluginID in his latest Personal Development Face-Off.
As well, I’m substituting for Joanna Young today over at Confident Writing while she’s leading a writing retreat in Italy.