Why Lying to Yourself is a Good Thing

  • Someday Lesson: To break out of a pity party tell yourself how good things are even when it feels like a lie.

As much as I come across as a confident person, there are times that I feel lower than the lowliest worm. It takes energy to stay positive.

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know how much I’m in favour of wallowing. A good pity party does a lot to shake us out of our negative spiral of thoughts.

Sometimes, however, a pity party can go on for too long and the downward spiral keeps taking us down – too far – and we lose our self-confidence and then we lose the momentum on whatever progress we’ve made moving forward towards our dreams.

That’s when we need to lie to ourselves.

If we start repeating how great life is and how wonderful we are, we can break free of the spiral, and rebuild self-confidence and momentum.

Lucky Twice

When we’re in the downward spiral, the words “I’m so lucky, lucky / I’m so lovely lovely” feel like a total lie – when I feel like crap, I feel neither lucky nor lovely.

But then I take the advice of schmaltzy pop music like Lucky by Lucky Twice and slow the lie becomes the trust – yes I am damn lucky and I’m superbly lovely.

Unfortunately Universal Music seems to think that inserting videos into blog posts is a bad thing, so you’ll have to go to YouTube to see the video and get your pop music positivity fix there.

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6 thoughts on “Why Lying to Yourself is a Good Thing

  1. Maree says:

    I disagree that we need to lie to ourselves. I agree that when are low we need to reject the negative emotions and replace them with ones that are more realistic and helpful.

    However the reality is that we always have an enormous amount of stuff to be grateful for and give thanks for. Sometimes it is important to make a conscious effort to identify those things and put the negativity into perspective.

    However it is much better to find the things that we should truly be thankful and happy about (they always exist), than to simply pretend.

  2. Melinda says:

    Do you have any idea how good it feels to realise that I’m not the only person who does this? It feels totally fake and unreal when I start saying these things, however over time and repetition it does become true and feels true.

    Thanks Alex, another great post! 🙂

    Melinda´s last blog post..The B.S. Funnel

  3. Melinda says:

    The other way I use to get out of a pity party (when I realise I’m in one) is singing. It’s impossible to feel sad and sing at the same time. Make it an upbeat, positive song and you really will feel better quickly!

    Melinda´s last blog post..The B.S. Funnel

  4. Dave says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with you on this. I’ve been working on maintaining a positive attitude at all times and when I’m not feeling positive, I find it helpful to just tell myself that I am anyway. Even better (or worse) I find helpful to tell other people as well that I’m feeling good. By doing this, it doesn’t take long before it’s true. 🙂

    Dave´s last blog post..Staying Positive in a Negative World

  5. Great post! I found it very inspiring! 🙂

    Positively Present´s last blog post..funny the way it is

  6. Alex Fayle says:

    @Maree
    I think the gratitude and the kind words about ourselves are 100% true, but in a low self-deprecating moment they feel totally false – so while we are not actually lying to ourselves or pretending something that isn’t true, until we start feeling better, we feel that the words themselves are lies. (Or at least that’s how it works for me. 😉 )

    @Melinda
    I’m with you on the singing part. It’s even more fun to pull out PlayStation’s SingStar (their version of karaoke) and belt out some tunes in my really bad Spanish.

    @Dave
    I’ve done that before too – telling people things are going really well when I feel that they’re falling apart because I know the falling-apart feeling is only temporary (and often food or hormone related)…

    @Positively Present
    Glad you liked the post!

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