Here at Someday Syndrome, I like to focus on the big changes people make in their lives starting with the pity parties we throw ourselves to the life-changing decisions we make to cancel the party and find the success we want – whatever it looks like to us. Deboarah Ng has crafted her life to be exactly as she wants it and because she did so she no longer suffers from Someday Syndrome.
What an awesome place to be at! And you can be there too if you want to be.
Who: Deborah Ng of Freelance Writing Jobs
Deborah realized a long time ago she wasn’t cut out for an office job and did everything within her power to ensure she could do the work she loved, while time empowering others to do the work they love at the same time.
Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals. Were you feeling stuck? Had you felt you failed? What wasn’t working in your life?
About a year before I left my office job, I came home from work after a very bad day. As I was taking a shower I burst into tears and had myself a good cry. Why was I the only one who didn’t seem cut out for this type of lifestyle? Was I ever going to do what I wanted to do or was I destined to forty years of working for abusive people?
I felt stuck, I felt like there was no where else to go, and though I had a dream of leaving my job to work from home full time, it never seemed like an obtainable goal, not when we were expecting a child and looking to buy a house. In fact, there was no way I would even tell my husband about my dream. It wasn’t fair to him.
Even our lowest moments fulfill a need in us or express our desires. When you threw yourself that pity party, what did you hope to gain? What need did you fulfill?
I just wanted to be happy in my job. I wanted to do something I enjoyed while still fulfilling my obligations and helping to make ends meet.
Tell us what you did to break up the pity party. What actions did you decide to take? Did someone help you buoy your spirits? Push you along?
After witnessing 9/11, I just decided life was too short to be unhappy. I was pregnant and we were moving to another state. I knew this my chance to make a new start.
I had been freelancing as a writer for about two years and thought the move and new baby would give me the chance I needed to make a new start and begin freelancing full time. My parents taught me how happiness was more important than a million dollar job.
I wanted my child to be raised with the same sense of positivity. I worked for 18 years doing jobs I hated, no one in my home would be miserable again.
Can you look back on that moment and tell us how you felt when you did decide to take action? What results came about from your decision to take charge and move on?
I felt relieved. I was elated. The decision made my last few months at my horrible office job bearable. There really WAS a light at the end of the tunnel. Once I was out of my rut, good things began to happen. My positivity was infectious.
Everyone has a Someday problem hiding deep inside, even little ones. What variety of the Someday Syndrome do you currently harbor? What would you like to achieve but haven’t yet?
I don’t really have regrets, only opportunities. The things that happened, happened. I can look back, see how they affected me and use them to leverage change.Shouldacouldawouldas only lead to more pity parties.
Examining your Someday Syndrome problem, what are you currently doing to resolve it and eliminate it from your life?
Someday is here. It’s been eliminated.In fact, it was eliminated seven years ago. I took control of my destiny. I knew what I needed to do to achieve my goal and find happiness and I did it. I learned everything I could about freelance writing, setting rates, and more.
I worked hard to find work and built up a good client base. I made sure I gave my clients the best service possible, because my reputation was contingent on my good name. Someday is long gone.The only thing wallowing in pity does it make you look pitiful.
Many people suffer the same problems you do. You’re not alone, and neither are they. What would you tell people in your situation right now to help them avoid what you’re going through?
Anyone wishing to get out of a rut first needs to identify the cause of her misery and then list all the steps needed to lift her out of that rut. The way I see it, we have two options, we can dream or we can do. I chose the latter. Anyone who says he or she can’t achieve a dream is just making excuses.It may take years but it can, and will happen, we just have to stop whining, stop saying “if only…” and take control of our own destinies.
If you could ask for one thing, right now, to help you overcome your Someday Syndrome, what type of help would you ask for?
Really, the only thing I needed was the support of my family and I received it. One of the things that kept me from achieving my dreams was the guilt. I didn’t think it would be fair to my family if I quit my job to freelance. I knew my income would be much lower, at least at first. How can I ask my husband to shoulder the burden? He works hard, is it fair to have him ‘carry’ the mortgage, bills, etc. almost alone while I built up a business?
After my cry in the shower, and after 9/11, I had a talk with my husband. We worked out a plan. I set a goal and it didn’t take me long to achieve that goal. I did better as a freelance writer, professional blogger, and social media consultant than I ever did in a dull office job. No. I don’t need anything else. I have a job I love, a wonderful family and a dog that makes me take a frisbee break twice a day. What more could I possible want?