Eliminating Somedays Through Clarity: Deborah Ng Interview

Here at Someday Syndrome, I like to focus on the big changes people make in their lives starting with the pity parties we throw ourselves to the life-changing decisions we make to cancel the party and find the success we want – whatever it looks like to us. Deboarah Ng has crafted her life to be exactly as she wants it and because she did so she no longer suffers from Someday Syndrome.

What an awesome place to be at! And you can be there too if you want to be.

Deborah NgWho: Deborah Ng of Freelance Writing Jobs
Deborah realized a long time ago she wasn’t cut out for an office job and did everything within her power to ensure she could do the work she loved, while time empowering others to do the work they love at the same time.

Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals. Were you feeling stuck? Had you felt you failed? What wasn’t working in your life?
About a year before I left my office job, I came home from work after a very bad day. As I was taking a shower I burst into tears and had myself a good cry. Why was I the only one who didn’t seem cut out for this type of lifestyle? Was I ever going to do what I wanted to do or was I destined to forty years of working for abusive people?

I felt stuck, I felt like there was no where else to go, and though I had a dream of leaving my job to work from home full time, it never seemed like an obtainable goal, not when we were expecting a child and looking to buy a house. In fact, there was no way I would even tell my husband about my dream. It wasn’t fair to him.

Even our lowest moments fulfill a need in us or express our desires. When you threw yourself that pity party, what did you hope to gain? What need did you fulfill?
I just wanted to be happy in my job. I wanted to do something I enjoyed while still fulfilling my obligations and helping to make ends meet.

Tell us what you did to break up the pity party. What actions did you decide to take? Did someone help you buoy your spirits? Push you along?
After witnessing 9/11, I just decided life was too short to be unhappy. I was pregnant and we were moving to another state. I knew this my chance to make a new start.

I had been freelancing as a writer for about two years and thought the move and new baby would give me the chance I needed to make a new start and begin freelancing full time. My parents taught me how happiness was more important than a million dollar job.

I wanted my child to be raised with the same sense of positivity. I worked for 18 years doing jobs I hated, no one in my home would be miserable again.

Can you look back on that moment and tell us how you felt when you did decide to take action? What results came about from your decision to take charge and move on?
I felt relieved. I was elated. The decision made my last few months at my horrible office job bearable. There really WAS a light at the end of the tunnel. Once I was out of my rut, good things began to happen. My positivity was infectious.

Everyone has a Someday problem hiding deep inside, even little ones. What variety of the Someday Syndrome do you currently harbor? What would you like to achieve but haven’t yet?
I don’t really have regrets, only opportunities. The things that happened, happened. I can look back, see how they affected me and use them to leverage change.Shouldacouldawouldas only lead to more pity parties.

Examining your Someday Syndrome problem, what are you currently doing to resolve it and eliminate it from your life?
Someday is here. It’s been eliminated.In fact, it was eliminated seven years ago. I took control of my destiny. I knew what I needed to do to achieve my goal and find happiness and I did it. I learned everything I could about freelance writing, setting rates, and more.

I worked hard to find work and built up a good client base. I made sure I gave my clients the best service possible, because my reputation was contingent on my good name. Someday is long gone.The only thing wallowing in pity does it make you look pitiful.

Many people suffer the same problems you do. You’re not alone, and neither are they. What would you tell people in your situation right now to help them avoid what you’re going through?
Anyone wishing to get out of a rut first needs to identify the cause of her misery and then list all the steps needed to lift her out of that rut. The way I see it, we have two options, we can dream or we can do. I chose the latter. Anyone who says he or she can’t achieve a dream is just making excuses.It may take years but it can, and will happen, we just have to stop whining, stop saying “if only…” and take control of our own destinies.

If you could ask for one thing, right now, to help you overcome your Someday Syndrome, what type of help would you ask for?
Really, the only thing I needed was the support of my family and I received it. One of the things that kept me from achieving my dreams was the guilt. I didn’t think it would be fair to my family if I quit my job to freelance. I knew my income would be much lower, at least at first. How can I ask my husband to shoulder the burden? He works hard, is it fair to have him ‘carry’ the mortgage, bills, etc. almost alone while I built up a business?

After my cry in the shower, and after 9/11, I had a talk with my husband. We worked out a plan. I set a goal and it didn’t take me long to achieve that goal. I did better as a freelance writer, professional blogger, and social media consultant than I ever did in a dull office job. No. I don’t need anything else. I have a job I love, a wonderful family and a dog that makes me take a frisbee break twice a day. What more could I possible want?

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13 thoughts on “Eliminating Somedays Through Clarity: Deborah Ng Interview

  1. Thanks for sharing this interview! I too believe that its the support that we need from those closest to us (family and fantastic friends) that really can pull us through the guilt that we have hanging behind as we seek to achieve our dreams.

    Yeah, life is too short to be unhappy. It’s way better to have encouragement around us and accompany us through our journey.

    Congrats to Deborah too that she’s living her life awesome now with a career that she loves and strong family support. 🙂

    Daniel Richard´s last blog post..Psst… Secret Of “The Kaizen Project” Is Out!

  2. Alex Fayle says:

    @Daniel
    I’ve done it with and without support and having the support makes life so much easier and enjoyable, but not having the support didn’t stop me – it actually made me more determined to get exactly what I wanted.

  3. Cathy says:

    Thank you Alex for this posting. All that Deborah said rings so true. I’ve got a lot of Somedays and I’m finding it a real uphill battle to face them head-on and eliminate them. But I’m hoping that I can muster up lots of persistence and determination and get there in the end.

    Cathy´s last blog post..Elizabeth Goudge quote

  4. Karen Swim says:

    Alex, thanks for interviewing one of my freelancing heroes. One thing that Deb does not mention is that while she was busting through her Someday Syndrome she left bread crumbs for others to follow. More than 5 years ago when I was embracing the ability to actually write as my job I found help and hope at Deb’s site. At the time I wasn’t even clear on the whole blog thing but I read, learned and applied. She’s still teaching and inspiring me. Go Deb!

    Karen Swim´s last blog post..No Time For Fishing

  5. Great interview! I really enjoyed reading it and I love the idea of clarity eliminating the idea of someday.

    Positively Present´s last blog post..a happy life is not a perfect life

  6. […] who inspires us every day at the remarkable Someday Syndrome blog, posted an interview with me discussing my decision to leave corporate America for a full time freelance career and why I have no regrets. Check it out. If you don’t already […]

  7. Andy Hayes says:

    As a member of Deb’s FWJ (Freelance Writing Jobs) community I can attest to her infectious passion!

    When I started out as a writer, it was Deb’s site that I landed on. She was a real support when I started out and I’ll be forever thankful!

    And now that Alex has cured most of my Somedays, I’m in pretty good shape.

    🙂

    Andy Hayes´s last blog post..World’s Most Inspirational Honeymoon Destinations

  8. “Someday is here. It’s been eliminated. In fact, it was eliminated seven years ago.” Such a beautiful sentiment to read! Going to check out Deborah’s site now. Great interview!

    Catherine Cantieri, Sorted´s last blog post..Taming Time: Unexpected time management resources

  9. Lauren says:

    I have been visiting Deb’s site for years, but never knew the story of how she came to live her dream. She truly is an inspiration to me because my dream is very similar.

    I got laid off from my job last Tuesday and instead of looking at it as a negative, I’m viewing it as a chance to make my dream of becoming a self-sufficient writer/blogger come true. I’m honestly happy it happened, because I don’t know if I would have had the strength to leave my job on my own.

    Lauren´s last blog post..Not Just Another Manic Monday

  10. Deb Ng says:

    Thanks, Alex, for letting me tell my story. And thanks to Alex’s community and FWJ for your kind words. Sending out positive thoughts so everyone finds their somedays.

    Deb Ng´s last blog post..A Little Late June Weekend Link Love

  11. Susan says:

    Great interview! Deb’s site and thoughtful blog posts have been an inspiration to me…I was interested to learn the whole story. There are definitely some similarities to recently starting out on my own Someday…minus the baby 🙂

  12. Fantastic interview – and such a great reminder that we are the creators of our attitudes – and we choose what we need to do, regardless of the things around us that ‘happen’ to us. Thanks for sharing!

    Laura Cococcia´s last blog post..Laura Interviews Hugh MacLeod: Author of ‘Ignore Everybody And 39 Other Keys to Creativity’

  13. Alex Fayle says:

    @Cathy
    That’s why I like the little steps method – you have the big picture of what you want and then you tackle only little steps at a time so that you’re not overwhelming yourself with details.

    @Karen
    Wow – what a great story! Good to know that Deb’s been helping people bust their own Somedays by having gotten rid of her own!

    @Positively Present
    It’s like a path through the woods – much easier when it’s clear and obvious rather than having to fight through the underbrush.

    @Andy
    Always a pleasure to help you and I’m glad that you’ve also had the pleasure of getting help from FWJ.

    @Catherine
    It’s great to read that kind of thing – that eliminating somedays is possible and how awesome it feels to do so!

    @Lauren
    Sometimes when we can’t make the leap from the nest we have to get pushed out to discover how high we can soar. That’s what the Someday Syndrome site and services are all about – giving people the push they know they need.

    @Susan
    That’s why I love the interview series. The interviews give people some hope that their own somedays are bustable. Good luck with your own!

    @Laura
    Exactly – life is choice (mainly choice of reactions but still a choice). Woo hoo! 😉

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