No, I Won’t Talk to You: Why Someday Syndrome Offers Email-Based Coaching

  • Someday Lesson: By writing things down you commit to action more than if you just talk about it.

D'Arcy Norman on flickr.comIf you take a look at the Someday Busting Services you’ll notice something rather odd in the world of coaching: everything I offer is based in the written word. There’s no face-to-face meetings, no phone calls and no Voice over IP chats.

Most coaches and mentors work face-to-face or over the telephone but at Someday Syndrome, the coaching services and the ebooks rely on the written word. Why?

The fast answer: being a writer I like the written word.

But there’s more to it than that.

When we write things down we make them more powerful as well as more concrete and more likely to come true.

As Richard Wiseman in his book, 59 Seconds, says:

From a psychological perspective, talking and writing are very different. Talking can often be somewhat unstructured, disorganized, even chaotic. In contrast, writing encourages the creation of a story line and structure that help people make sense of what has happened and work towards a solution. In short, talking can add to a sense of confusion while writing provides a more systematic, and solution-based, approach.

While Wiseman is specifically talking about people who have experienced trauma in their lives, using the written word helps rid our lives of Somedays by creating a story out of our past, present and future.

It also takes the chaos out of our heads and puts it down on paper (or the computer screen) where we can look at it more objectively and determine the best path forward without the weight of emotions pushing us in a direction we might not want to go.

In your own Someday Journey, do you talk about it or write about it? If you talk, how much are you actually doing? Writing things down prepares us for doing while talking all too often becomes a form of avoiding action.

A guided Someday Journey such as the Someday Busting Services offer creates the story and commits you to action through the following:

1. Two complimentary introduction email sessions:
When you first start with Someday Syndrome, I send you a version of the Someday Interview that goes up each Monday. In this interview you tell me about some challenge you faced in the past and how you solved the problem. By writing it down you see in print that you are capable of beating your Somedays – you see a beginning (the problem), a middle (your reaction/meltdown moment) and an end (how you solved the problem).

You might not have solved it to your complete satisfaction or it might be an ongoing problem that you still experience, but writing down what you felt and how you reacted not only creates the story for you, but it gives me insight into how you see the world, giving me the opportunity to help you edit the story in a way that will create the happy ending you’re looking for.

As well in these introductory sessions, you get a quick-victory suggestion plus some advice on how to start altering your thinking to create long term changes. By having these solutions written down you can come back to them repeatedly and use the written words to help you create new habits and new patterns in your life.

2. A discussion on what guide will work best for you:
Everyone has different needs and is on a different part of the path towards busting their Somedays. Because of that the tools I recommend will be different. Some might just the gentle push that a Someday ebook offers, while others might get rid of the Somedays through working closely with me using a combination of the Someday Busting Program and custom-created exercises. Or there’s the middle ground of a do-it-yourself Someday Busting or a guided journey through an ebook.

For some, just having the intro sessions is enough of a push and I will tell them (in writing) that they don’t need me and not to waste their money on something they’re well on the way to achieving on their own.

3. A concrete ending with reference materials:
By creating a story out of your Someday Journey, the focus is on the end point – on getting rid of the word Someday and making it today. And while some clients choose to continue on in a maintenance program to ensure Someday Syndrome doesn’t creep back into their lives, all the Someday Busting Services and ebooks are designed with a specific ending. And by writing down each of your exercises you end up with a manual that you can refer back to when you feel like you’re saying Someday more often than you’d like to.

Many coaching and counseling services seem to go on forever without a specific goal. Not so at Someday Syndrome. My goal as a Someday Mentor is a full cure of Someday Syndrome. And for that reason in each of the guided journeys I offer (all of the Someday Busting Services and guided versions of the ebooks) you get a weekly summary of the progress you’ve made since the beginning of our time together. You get to see in print how far you’ve come and when you feel like you’re backsliding you can take a look at each of the exercises you’ve completed and remotivate yourself to move forward again.

And that’s why everything on Someday Syndrome starts and finishes with the written word. By writing everything down, you’re not just talking about it, you’re creating a plan and committing to action.

Because without structure and action, Someday will never become today.

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10 thoughts on “No, I Won’t Talk to You: Why Someday Syndrome Offers Email-Based Coaching

  1. Joanne Lee says:

    I highly recommend the book Write It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want And Getting It by Henriette Anne Klauser. It’s my favorite book on this subject, and it works!

  2. That’s awesome, Alex. As a no-phone service provider myself, I can attest that it’s fantastic for me – and it’s AWESOME for my clients. They frequently tell me that writing their ideas and visions down or working on answering my marketing questions helps them really focus on their business.

    Had I accepted a call instead of an email, that focus wouldn’t have happened.

    I salute you for making people really think about what they CAN do instead of just blabbing about what they will do Someday.
    .-= James Chartrand – Men with Pens´s last blog ..We Like Special Announcements. Here are Three. =-.

  3. Hehehehe, I was just going to say that you’ve been talking (emailing) with James! I’m also now offering email coaching, although I don’ think that I’ll ever go totally email as I really do like the talking with clients.
    .-= Melinda | WAHM Biz Builder´s last blog ..Gender Bias – Alive and Kicking on the Internet =-.

  4. Alex Fayle says:

    @Joanne
    Yay to new book recommendations! It’s on my wish list!

    @James
    I know that I’m excluding a bunch of people from my market with this policy but I see it as honing in on my niche – I work with people who love the written word as well. And who are committed to action! πŸ˜‰

    @Mel
    James and I are very alike in some ways and a love of writing is a hugely shared passion. Email coaching is a great option for international clients and good for you for knowing what you like to do. It really helps hone the business, eh?

  5. I just get a little amazed by people who want to try the “Pick My Brain syndrome” tactic. As if I don’t need my brain myself. Great approach sir.
    .-= Darren Scott Monroe´s last blog ..3 Instant Ways to Generate Idea’s That will Shock The World =-.

  6. Winnie Lim says:

    I also have a strict email-only rule with my clients and that was the best decision I’ve ever made so far for my solo business. I think it allows people to understand my ideas fully without having a knee-jerk reaction to them. It goes both ways because it makes people (most, anyway) think through what they truly want instead of transmitting them carelessly vocally.

    Apart from that, I admit I am typically better with the written word and often at a disadvantage in a verbal discussion because it doesn’t allow me to respond back with what I really want to say.

    If not for the internet, I don’t think I would be running my own business.

    That being said, email-based coaching sounds like a great idea, and it puts into practice the therapeutic qualities of writing/journaling. All the best. πŸ™‚
    .-= Winnie Lim´s last blog ..The Power of Now =-.

  7. Cath Lawson says:

    Hi Alex – I like this idea. The phone can be a pain and it’s easy for conversations to wander off in the wrong direction and waste a lot of time. Writing is much easier. Also, phone makes it too easy to forget what you were going to say, or ask – for me anyway. You avoid all that by writing it down.

  8. Alex Fayle says:

    @Darren
    Yes, I find that working via email, people end up being very specific with their questions, which makes it easier to respond in a thoughtful, reasoned manner, rather than a phone conversation which can go in a million unexpected directions.

    @Winnie
    It’s good to hear about others who share this practice. I always here that if you’re a small business you have to have a phone number of your website or you’re not providing good customer service.

    I think I provide better service because I don’t have that number. If people could call me, they’d not get the same attention they do when I write to them.

    @Cath
    I think a lot of people have had bad experiences with text-based customer service and so often want to talk to someone, but as you say (and especially in a coaching situation) the conversation can go off track quickly. Since I clear my inbox almost every day the customer service part isn’t a worry and yes I’m able to keep the conversations on track.

  9. […] Tuesday’s post, I talked about the power of the written word especially when it comes to clearing your life of […]

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