Learning Patience Because Success Takes Time: Alex Fayle Interview

Throughout October here on Someday Syndrome, we’re going to talk about time management, something that given how many things I have going on in my life is a constant challenge for me.

As a way of introducing the topic, and to give those of you who don’t know me that well a chance to see into my own Someday Journey, today’s Someday Interview is with yours truly…

Alex FayleAlex Fayle of Someday Syndrome
Alex is a writer and Someday mentor who believes that everyone can actively follow their dreams. It’s just a matter of making conscious choices.

Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals. Were you feeling stuck? Had you felt you failed? What wasn’t working in your life?
Starting a new business is difficult. Despite the rumors that there are a multitude of riches to be had, business success does not happen overnight. At the same time, that I’m building a small business, I’m also working towards getting fiction published professionally. Another really slow pursuit.

I work away at the huge list of things I could be doing to build the business and get my fiction published, plus I make an effort to have a life outside work and writing by spending time with my boyfriend, friends and taking time off to vacation. Plus I have a part-time job to keep the bills paid.

So what happens?

I get overwhelmed, get depressed, have a little fit and want to toss it all out the window and just get a nine-to-five job where I don’t have to think about work, writing or balance.

Even our lowest moments fulfill a need in us or express our desires. When you threw yourself that pity party, what did you hope to gain? What need did you fulfill?
By wallowing in a pity party, I let off steam. If I held it all in, I’d start sabotaging myself, but by recognizing my impatience and feelings of frustration, I give them a limited time to come out and play n a way that doesn’t damage my dreams or take me backwards on my path.

Tell us what you did to break up the pity party. What actions did you decide to take? Did someone help you buoy your spirits? Push you along?
My partner offers support, makes me laugh and kicks me in the butt in just the right mix. I also have a group of colleagues including (among many many others) Eliza at Make Way For Business, James at Men with Pens, and Kelly at Maximum Customer Experience. They allow me to vent, then remind me to be patient and usually give me something to do to dispel my frustrations.

I kick my own butt, too. After giving my negative its own time, I go back to my schedule and to my list of daily actions and just keep moving forward bit by bit.

Finally, I make a huge effort to not compare myself to others in my niche because seeing the success of others when I’m feeling unsuccessful just makes me want to work even less (as in “Why bother?!”).

Can you look back on that moment and tell us how you felt when you did decide to take action? What results came about from your decision to take charge and move on?
When I’m feeling this way, I tell myself to be patient and then go do something (which is exactly what I tell others to do in the same situation). Seeing one piece of the long-term plan done gives me the energy to move forward again.

Everyone has a Someday problem hiding deep inside, even little ones. What variety of the Someday Syndrome do you currently harbor? What would you like to achieve but haven’t yet?
Someday I won’t feel so stretched and someday I won’t feel like I’m never getting enough done.

It doesn’t matter how productive my day is, when I go to bed I still have a huge to-do list waiting for me and a feeling that I haven’t really connected with my partner and friends in a decent manner.

As much as I would like to add hours to the day, what I really want is a stable income from fewer sources. In other words, someday I want to cut back on my working hours while increasing my income.

At the beginning of a business, the amount of unpaid work is amazing. Between product development, blogging, marketing and social media, it feels like there’s little time for paying clients.

Examining your Someday Syndrome problem, what are you currently doing to resolve it and eliminate it from your life?
I’m developing information products that don’t expire – once created they can continue earning (but still need to be marketed). I’m also constantly refining my market to make sure I’m drawing in my Right People.

But most importantly I recognize that I can’t do everything and I certainly can’t do it all at once, so I pick my priorities and work on each of them, measuring the effect of my efforts on my business.

Many people suffer the same problems you do. You’re not alone, and neither are they. What would you tell people in your situation right now to help them avoid what you’re going through?
Be highly focused with what you want – make sure that you’re not throwing your energy all over the place without any sort of focus. Time and energy are not limitless – use them well or forget about success.

Also whenever you’re feeling frustrated with slow progress take a big breath and say “Patience…”

If you could ask for one thing, right now, to help you overcome your Someday Syndrome, what type of help would you ask for? You might be tempted to provide a cheeky answer, but stop and think a moment about what would really help you.
Well, clearly the cheeky answer would be: clients, lots more clients.

But realistically what I want is more exposure.

And that’s where I’m asking you for help. If you enjoy reading the Someday Syndrome blog and the bimonthly Someday News, then please tell someone about it. I’m looking for some raving fans who’ll evangelize the message of Someday Syndrome across the world.

Specifically (because you know that curing Someday Syndrome is all about small specific actions), I would love it if you told three people who you think would benefit from the Someday Syndrome messages.

Thank you! I appreciate all you already do for me in supporting the blog and the other Someday Busting Services.

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9 thoughts on “Learning Patience Because Success Takes Time: Alex Fayle Interview

  1. great interview!! 🙂
    .-= Positively Present´s last blog ..how to break barriers and create connections =-.

  2. Alex Fayle says:

    @Positively Present
    Thanks! Even though I wrote the questions, they weren’t easy to answer. 😉

  3. After reading other “Someday” interviews with other people, I’m fascinated to read your responses to these questions!
    .-= Catherine Cantieri, Sorted´s last blog ..Informational clutter =-.

  4. Alex Fayle says:

    @Catherine
    Glad you liked the interview – I launched this version of the blog with and auto-interview – here’s the link if you’re interested in reading more: http://somedaysyndrome.com/2008/08/surpressing-the-dream-alex-fayle-interview-part-1/

    Cheers,
    Alex

  5. Kelly says:

    Alex,

    You know how much I love this interview format—to see you turn it on yourself again is a real delight!

    My favorite bit: “Despite the rumors that there are a multitude of riches to be had, business success does not happen overnight.” SO true. Nobody likes to listen to the tough news, and telling a business owner that the very most important tool in their entire bag of tricks is patience is very tough news.

    What I like about your little fits when you want to toss it all out the window, Alex, is that by the time I know you’re having “a moment,” you’ve really worked half of it out. Shouting about it is more like the beginning of the next phase of work for you—it’s what you need to purge in order to dig in.

    You’re one of the coolest clients I’ve ever worked with for two reasons—one, I already consider you a friend, and two, above all my other clients, online and off, when we talk about action points for your business, you’re putting them into action before the virtual ink has dried.

    The way you allow Someday feelings but won’t permit Someday Syndrome to drag you down is what makes you the perfect Someday mentor for your clients. I picture you saying to your clients, sure, go ahead and have those thoughts—now let’s kick butt!

    Keep interviewing cool people like this. Loved it! 🙂

    Regards,

    Kelly
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..How NOT To Sell in an Email =-.

  6. Alex Fayle says:

    @Kelly
    If it weren’t for people like you I wouldn’t have gained so much patience!

  7. Too cool. So it looks like we all have the same little set of pity-party ass-kickers, eh? Oh, wait. Kelly doesn’t come to us with whining – probably because we’d kick her ass.

    Something sounds so unfair about that…

    What I like about your little fits when you want to toss it all out the window, Alex, is that by the time I know you’re having “a moment,” you’ve really worked half of it out.

    Hee hee, so true. But we all have those fits, eh? I don’t know how many times in three years I’ve proclaimed, “That’s it. I quit. Done. Finished. OVER!” And five minutes later I’m sighing and saying, “Okay, I’m not going to quit…. Yes, I know. I like my job… I know… Alright, I’ll do that…”

    …above all my other clients, online and off, when we talk about action points for your business, you’re putting them into action before the virtual ink has dried.

    HEY! I thought that was ME! 😉

    Alex, you’ve come a damned long way in a year. You aren’t done yet. And I’m glad about that. I like having you as a peer.
    .-= James Chartrand – Men with Pens´s last blog ..How to Freelance the Specific, Smart Way =-.

  8. Kelly says:

    Alex,

    You’ve taught me a lot, too. Someday is forever capitalized—and a powerful talisman—in my life. 🙂

    James,

    Above all my other clients, when we talk about action points for your business, you’ve forgotten them and look at me blankly before the virtual ink is dried.

    *runs for cover, giggling all the way*

    Until later,

    Kelly
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Ugly Truths in Sales and Marketing: MCE Round Table =-.

  9. Alex Fayle says:

    @Kelly & @James
    I definitely couldn’t do all this without the two of you!

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